~ The beauty of it all ~

Yesterday evening was my first taste of the many conversations that will occur between me and my sweet K Grace.  You know, the girly stuff.

This particular topic was "God made you special"... Thanks Veggie Tales. :-)

My heart sunk when I heard Kenzie say "Oh, I wish I was her"

It paralyzed me.

At such a young age of 3, she is already experiencing what so many young girls face. The insecurity of not being enough. The constant magnet to be like someone else. The overwhelming drive to fit it.  Now, grant it, it was just Orange Blossom from Strawberry Shortcake, but I'm allowed to over react... I'm her mother.

We had a short chat about "just being you" and I told that she is beautiful. She said "and gorgeous". :-)

How do I protect her from this growing plague to conform? How do I convince her in a world that "misses the point" every single day. How do I get her to believe that she is beautiful just by being who God created her to be, MaKenzie.

I realize this is premature, but again, I'm her mother and worry will rest forever on my chest. I must protect and preserve her innocence. I must teach her the right kind of beauty. But how? I'm a little intimidated by this challenge. I have one shot at it and I must do it before this world gets a chance.

So, premature? Not really.

"And let the beauty of the Lord our God be upon us..." Psalms 90:17

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MaKenzie Grace Bledsoe, You are beautiful dear. Inside and out. I’m privileged to see your outer beauty every day by your flawless skin, perfectly drawn lips, crystal emerald eyes and those dark silky strings that nestle around your perfectly molded face. More importantly, I’m exposed to your inner beauty. Your sweet little giggle. The way you hug me when you think I’m upset. I’m certain that you will be a loving individual by the concern on your face when someone is hurting and by the way you care for your doll babies every day.

You are beautiful just the way you are dear!!!

Prayers and wishes, Mommy

~ A Legacy of Faith ~

As he walked to the podium, the audience waited in silence as he delivered what seemed to be direct words from the Saviour.

Beauty echoed the halls as his fingers touched the keys of the privileged piano that rest in front of him.

 Laughter filled the souls of many as he delivered humorous tales of hands on spiritual experiences.

The average man was touched by his kind, meek, humble and modest approach.

 More importantly, the lost were led to Christ by his example and strict obedience to Jesus Christ.

This man, Bro C.M. Becton, polished, classy and Spirit filled, will be missed by many. His life represents Christ and a servant’s heart. He’s irreplaceable. There will be no other like him.

My heart is heavy for the Becton family this morning. Bro. C.M. Becton has departed this world to meet his Creator & Savior. You know Heaven MUST be having one of the largest celebrations this morning.

He leaves not only his physical family mourning, but his church family as well. He has left us with a legacy of faith, inspiration to be a better person, to do good to mankind and to willingly serve our Lord until the very end.

While reading this morning all the writings of how this man has impacted many lives far and wide, I paused in wonder... just how many lives he must have had some part in leading to Christ. How many souls will rejoice and reunite with him one day because of his obedience to the Word of God?

My prayers and deep sympathy are with the Becton family this morning and my heart overwhelmed with the privilege of being acquainted with this fine man of God through his son Rev. Ron Becton.

Psalms 91:16 “With long life I will satisfy him and show him my salvation.”

~ Should I be worried? ~

Kenzie has developed her own lil' way of doing things.

I hate to admit it, but I think she has been cursed with the "indecisive" bug just like her mommy.  She needs to know all of her options before she makes a decision.

  It also appears that she has inherited the list making - orgainizing demon that lives inside of me.  Oh my...!!!!

I didn't realized the characteristics started so early.  Have mercy!!!

~ Kenzie's Art - 2010 ~

~ It's not just a uniform ~

Well, I probably won't say anything that no one else will say or that hasn’t already been said before on this day.

However, I can speak from my heart.

I want to thank each and every man or woman that has or will proudly wear the uniform for their commitment and devotion to this GREAT country. With all its flaws, whether it be in leadership, declining morals and increasing ungratefulness… it STILL IS A GREAT COUNTRY

Every soldier has or will sacrifice for our comfort. Regardless of their race, stature, religious beliefs, rank, active or inactive, they sacrifice so that you and I can come home to our family every evening and find them safe and without harm.  They sacrifice that we can enjoy our weekend at any religious facility of our choice and worship any god that we pull out of our pocket that day.

I’m certain this day will pass just like all others, with many thank yous.  Some sincere and others not. We have become too busy to stop and thank and really think about what this day means.  If we were to stop and think… we would realize that they are the very reason we are able to live our busy lives uninterrupted.

It only takes one conversation with a soldier to figure out just how much they sacrifice. Even after they return from service, they are captivated by its haunting. Not only does the soldier sacrifice, but their families do as well.

A little girl somewhere lives without a father for a period of time. A young boy goes to basketball game without a mother’s cheer. Births are missed, birthdays go by, graduations are viewed by satellite, brides are married without their father and so on and so on. When I think of how life would be for me and my children without my husband, it reminds me of these families and how much they give too. Not just to be without them, but the endless worry that I'm certain hangs on your heart.  When I think of how I would feel if my son were to enlist one day and be ordered to war, then I realize a mother's fear.

So, all that to say….

I SALUTE YOU SOLDIER!!!!

Not just today, but every day that I can walk into my home safely, teach my child about my Savior and lay my head on my pillow at night and dream of my family’s future in the GREAT country of AMERICA.

~ A life sized blanket ~

What is it that  lil' girl LOVES about playing "head and all" underneath a blanket 10 times her size.

Is it the escape?

Is it magical?

What's under that blanket?

So, when Kenzie lifted what often transports her to another world and asked me to join, I gladly accepted and then I was reminded and knew.  It's peaceful, it separates and it's her own.  Muted light as it shines through the blanket is therapy, a fairytale, it's null... lacking the weight of this world and it's noise.

It's amazing what lessons we can learn from a 3 year old and their simplicity and apply it to our adult sized life that's full of noise and chaos.

~ Halloween Fun - 2010 ~

This year was not a year of unique, but special.  I know that 90% of little girls are a princess around the age 3 and the same percentage of boys want to be a soldier at 10.  So, this year was our year.  Even though we were most like the majority of costumes at this age, my lil' pumpkins are special because I know their heart.

First there is Ethan, as he grows he captures my heart over and over again.  I'm in love with his being and his enthusiasm for his country amazes me.  He loves the Red, White and Blue, camo, guns and all things military... all this and he is still so sensitive and loving.  So, this year was fitting.  He chose to be a soldier and that was ok with me.  Yes, a soldier that carries a gun and fights for our freedom... that one.

Then there is Kenzie, her girly girl spirit is fun to watch as she twirls, dances and sings.  She is truly a lil' princess at heart.  I knew the day would come when she would want to be a princess for Halloween and this year was our year.  I like to stay a lil' more unique with our choices, but I was prepared that this would happen.  

A beautiful princess she was and is even without a sparkly dress.  She looked so pretty in her lil' princess dress casting "sparkles" on everyone she met.  She would say "I'm going to make you sparkle".  Her favorite girly princess songs right now are "Get Your Sparkle On"... "Fly To Your Heart" and "Pixie Dust".

So cute that she is so dainty.  I LOVE IT!!! 

I say that hoping that one day she will also develop an interest for sports and be athletic.  I'm living proof that you can be a girly girl AND like sports.

~ Grace IS Enough ~

I’ve been thinking in the midst of my chaos of wiping noses, kissing boo boos, analyzing data, refereeing sibling arguments, driving, cleaning, fixing, blessing… of how I long for things to be ordinary and how hard it is for me to conform to that mindset.

Ordinary is hard for me. I like special touches, embellishments, exciting, unique and so forth. The crazy thing is I LOVE simple style and fashion…things that are not fussy, non-ornamental…just simple.

However, for whatever reason, I feel like I have to embellish and have everything perfect around me. The house must be organized… each towel folded perfectly and in its place… a clutter-less abode… all the while these things clutter my mind, captivate my attention and steal my time.

It seems that lately, over and over, it keeps getting dropped in my heart that I need to take a new look at simple and ordinary.  They have a new look and are really attractive.  That some small things are really HUGE!  Sometimes just digging in and doing what needs to get done is all that is required without any bells or whistles.

It’s like God is whispering “Just be who I created you to be and people will love you”.

It’s a trick, making us all feel unworthy and like we will never measure up. Fear constantly pulling at the edges of our hearts asking us “Will I fit in”…”Will people like me?” This fear… WHY? I can't label it although I'm certain of its source. It will invade your thoughts as you approach sleep. It will breed insecurity and self inflicted heartache. It will keep you from taking that step forward. It will keep you in bondage if you let it.

Well, it has only taken 30 plus years to crack my shell enough to let this mindset absorb into my veins and understand that there really isn’t a perfect life, perfect person, perfect church, perfect job…… We are all just normal, broken, imperfect beings that need grace and mercy every single day. I'm slowly learning it's not about being perfect and that if I let His light shine through me and speak through me that that I will be loved, because He is perfect. I know, I know…too mushy and I’m not usually all sappy except when it comes to my children.

Someone sent me the following writings in an email today and I paused and questioned if she was writing of me and my imperfectness. I adjusted it a lil’ to fit more of my thoughts, but it basically projects my heart on a wall and I'm certain I'm not the only person...mother...wife...  that feels this way.

Grace IS Enough

Today, I'm just glad there's grace enough for a girl who lets her heart get ahead of her head

Who hasn't cleaned the grout in her kitchen floor in a very long time

Who lets the laundry go here and there

Who doesn’t follow every Martha Stewart directive to keep a tidy home

Who still prefers the fringes to the center of attention

Who can feels entirely out of place even with people who love her and have known her forever

Who grinds her teeth because she worries…and worries because she grinds her teeth

Who doesn't pet her dog enough

Or call her friends enough

Or tell her husband she loves him enough

Or cook dinner every night

Or accessorize her outfits (and her life) in quite the way she'd like

Whose to-do list is never done

Whose expectations for herself are never met

Yes, I'm glad there's grace enough for a girl like that...

"My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness."

2 Corinthians 12:9