~ Updated from 2011 archives "MOM-Sense" ~
I've been reading so many things lately about motherhood that have inspired this post.
Thank you to all the Moms that take the time to write about their emotions.
This is my "Mommy" story.
12 years ago if you would have asked me about children and being a Mom, I would have said...
"Yeah, someday I want to be a MOM."
I would have said it casually, without enthusiasm and no true excitement.
I would have told you that my pregnancy would be different.
I would smile through delivery, my hair would be fixed and I would have freshly shaved legs.
I would have told you that I would have perfect children.
They would never act up, always say please and thank you and go to bed at 8pm.
You get the picture, right?!... I didn't have a clue about being a MOM or what it meant.
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~ Ethan Holland Bledsoe - June 13, 2000 (the day he was born) ~
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In all honesty, I was terrified at the thought of becoming the three letter word.
I remember crying when I got the news and feeling so guilty that I wasn't having the exact emotions/thoughts I thought I would have when being told that I'm with child.
What next? Can I do this? My life is over? Will I get fat?
About 8 weeks into both of my pregnancies I was diagnosed with HYPEREMISIS.
Not fun to say the least.
I lost 20 plus pounds in the 1st trimester with both children and was hospitalized 3 times.
Little did I know then, that none of this MOM stuff would be how I planned.
The saying "Never say Never" comes to mind.
My hands and feet were swollen and I was simply exhausted.
Needless to say, I didn't feel like the beautiful glowing pregnant woman I had drawn up in my day dreaming of being a MOM.
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~ MaKenzie Grace Bledsoe - August 13, 2007 (the day she was born) ~
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Both of my children were born 1 week early and both were planned deliveries.
So, I DID get to shave my legs. *wink*
You hear that holding your babies for the first time is magical, but you don't even know until you've experienced it.
Regardless if it's in a hospital room or an adoption facility.
That moment is PRICELESS!!!
That's really the ONLY love at first sight.
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~ The day I became a MOM ~
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I remember bringing Ethan (my first born) home and thinking...
I know, I'll just sit here and watch him until he cries and then I'll hold him and feed him.
Yeah, that's what a MOM does, right?!
So, I did. I stared at him in disbelief that he was mine.
Disbelief that he was so tiny.
Disbelief that two days ago he was inside me.
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~ I became a mother of 2 ~
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No one ever told me about a MOM's guilt or second guessing EVERY SINGLE decision you make.
Those impulse thoughts....
Will I ever get any sleep?
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~ Ethan was so in love with Kenzie ~
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Somehow, it all works out. And those tiny fingers and toes captivate your heart.
You live for their snaggle tooth grins and double eyed winks.
You pause to hear them giggle and run rather slow for them to be able to tackle you and smother you with juicy snotty kisses.
You find a newly drawn smiley face on a perfectly blank canvas (which happens to be your dining room chair) and the only thing you can think is "Wow, what an artist!"
All that to say, as a mother, I think we all struggle with the same concerns.
This precious gift of being a MOM is the biggest job we'll ever be given.
Knowing what all it takes to be a MOM, I dedicate this post to my MOM.
I realize now and understand the corners of your heart.
I get the sleepless nights and the "just because I said so".
I get "you can't wear that" and "wait for him to call you".
I get "there is no other feeling like being a Mom".
I get it and I thank you for all the worrying, all the sleepless nights, all the working, all the talks on the phone when I didn't think I could do it, all the prayer and all that comes with being my Mother.
I'm still learning, but would like to think that I have more of an understanding of this MOM labeling.
Make sure you Mom knows she is special this weekend.
Happy Mother's Day to ALL fellow Mothers!
Blessings, Anna
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